Waiting until the Bombs Drop?

I've been thinking about my place in the world and how people consider me lately and more importantly, what I'm doing to impact that.

I went to a retirement party for a friend's father several years ago. He was the Chief of Police for a local suburb for many years. He had worked in the community for something like 30 years.

What struck me were the people that came out for the celebration. There were so many people that had been touched by this man somehow. I couldn't stop thinking, "I hope I'm remembered as fondly as this guy when it's time for me to look back on my life."

Perhaps it was the song "Rooftops" by Lostprophets that has me thinking on this so much lately. If you haven't heard the song let me reprint some of the lyrics for you.

When our time is up
When our lives are done
Will we say we've had our fun?

Will we make a mark this time?
Will we always say we tried?

Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out
.This is all we got now
Everybody scream your heart out.

All the love I've met
I have no regrets
If it all ends now, I'm set

Chorus

Standing on the rooftops
(Wait until the bombs drop)
This is all we got now
(Scream until your heart stops)
Never gonna regret
(Watching every sunset)
We'll listen to your heartbeat
(All the love that we found)

I keep going over this song and it's meaning in my head. What have I come up with? I'm still not sure.

I think for starters I'm unhappy with my career. I started right out of college with a theatre company and worked there for 10 years. I loved almost everything about the job. I made some really good friends all over the country there. Unfortunately I had to leave due to a conflict of interest when the company got bought out by a larger company.

Nothing too serious. My wife worked for the same company as I did. I was a field manager and she was an internal auditor. With the old company set up all the auditors shared responsibilities so she was just never allowed to audit whatever theatre I was working in. When we go bought out, the new company had area auditors so she would have to audit whichever theatre I'd be working in. One of us had to go so we decided I would go, but we would move back to my home state.

The only thing I don't miss about that job was working late nights, holidays and weekends. I had a lot of upward mobility at that company and I was moving fast. Of course I moved across country a couple of times to do so.

I don't get the same satisfaction with my current company. We've been losing market share around here and I don't want to move to a better market. Maybe if I had more faith in the company I would, but I just don't. They don't value their people enough. You are expected to move when they say if you want to advance. They don't reward you unless you are a high level manager. We're in the process of being sold so maybe that will change, but I don't think I want to wait around for that.

I've been in a rut for too long. I've been doing just what I have to both in work and out of it. I need to break the cycle. They say life is what you make it. It's time for me to make it into something I can be happy with. I need to stand on a rooftop and scream.