Remembering, Five Years Later

It's been five years since the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon. I find it hard to do much work today. Although I didn't know anyone personally that died, I feel directly affected by the attacks. I don't mean the way things have changed as a result; politics, liberties and sense of security, but on a much more personal level.

There was fear and anger when it happened. Now it's mostly a sense of deep sadness. Sadness for the lives that were lost, sadness for the innocence lost and sadness that there are people in this world that can hate so much.

I was asleep in Boston when the first plane hit the tower. My wife was working in Dallas and called on the phone to let me know. At that point they were still trying to determine whether this was an accident or not. I turned the TV on just as the second plane was hitting the other tower. I knew right away that this was no accident. One plane would be hard to believe as an accident, but two made it a certainty that we had been the victim of terrorism.

I was off work that day so sat home alone watching the whole event play out through the various newscasts. It's hard to describe what I was feeling. Fear for my wife for one. She had to get a rental car and drive back to Boston since all air traffic was halted. We didn't want to trust a train. It took her 3 days to get home. The rental car company actually charged less during the days that followed. A rare case of caring for the people more than their bottom line. Something small in the grand scheme of things, but something we'll never forget anyway.

Numbness and disbelief were the other emotions. How could it happen? Who could do such a thing? Why would anyone do this?

We're still trying to answer these questions five years later. We may know some of the names and what they thought they were doing, but we don't understand the answers they've given. Do we really want to understand the answers? I don't and hope I never do.

There is another emotion for me today. Admiration. For the people in FDNY and NYPD who rushed to the scene to help those they could. Many of them giving their lives as a result. For the civilians who helped their neighbors, whether they knew them or not. For the armed forces who have been fighting since shortly after this terrible day. I may not believe in the way the war has changed, but I admire every man and women that can put on a uniform and fight honorably for their country. They deserve our admiration and respect.