Things that will never be read

Fate, God and My Friend Jeff

2008-11-17T14:53:00.001-05:00

It's been quite some time since I've updated this. Partly due to the fact that we have more going on than I would like most of the time, mostly due to the fact that I'm lazy but also because I knew what I wanted to talk about in this thread but not really how to go about it. It could be a sensitive subject for some and I really don't want to offend certain people if they should happen to come by here. I need to write it out though if only to work through my own thoughts on these issues.

When last I wrote, I told of a friend of mine that I had recently reconnected with that was going through treatment for brain cancer. I got to see my friend for the first time in 9 years in April. It was nice to see him and his family again. Unfortunately, the cancer spread his spine soon afterward. He passed away in August.
Jeff was a good man. My life was better from having known him. He was the kind of friend I wish I could be to those that would call me a friend.

My wife and I attended his memorial service. It was a little surprising to me to find that Jeff had become very active in his church. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't a wild man in college or anything. I just never really saw any indication that he was a deeply religious man. (This came about before the cancer for those cynical people that may be reading.) Was this something that came after I knew him or was it always there as a personal belief? His family was also active in the church and his wife was dealing with her loss much better than I would be able to in her place. She credited her faith as a large reason for this.

I think of myself as a spiritual person, I do believe in a creator and an afterlife, but I have a hard time believing in many things churches teach. I would never think less of anyone that is a church goer though. If it helps somebody feel more complete in their life and isn't hurting anyone else I'm all for it. I don't like to be preached to, but I do very much like to discuss these types of things with people. Not because I like to argue, which I do, but because I think it's always good to keep an open mind on almost anything. The day you think you can't learn something new is the day you stop really living.

Something that was said in the service got me thinking of God and fate though. You often hear people talk about God's plan. Especially when a loved one has passed. Some people take solace in these sentiments. While I can see that it might give some comfort to those that have just lost a loved one, there are those that fully believe those sentiments with every fiber of their being. This I don't understand and it gets to the heart of one of my bigger issues with organized religion.

To believe that it was God's will that your loved one be taken is to believe that we have no say in anything that happens in our lives. There is no free will with this line of thinking. Consider somebody that is murdered. If it is God's will that a person died at this time, then it would also be by God's will that the murderer carried out this act. Churches often talk of sin and it's punishment, but how can there be sin if everything is God's will that has been fated to happen? I believe God created man (and not necessarily as told in the bible, but that's a different issue altogether) but gave him free will. Your life and it's path are the result of two things: choice and luck.

Then again, I wonder, was it just coincidence that made me finally reconnect with my friend Jeff just before he passed?

When It Rains It Pours

2008-03-18T10:58:00.003-05:00

This year has barely begun and yet I'm wondering what else could go wrong. We've gotten a lot of bad news this year. Thankfully nothing that affects us directly, but our friends are suffering. It seems every week there is more bad news.

First, our good friends who also happen to be our neighbors lost their home. We were very excited when we bought this house, as all first time home buyers are. It became even better when we discovered that there were people we already knew that had just bought the house across the street from us. Even better, they were pregnant too. Our children could be long life friends! Unfortunately, the tough economy and poor planning had other things in mind. Still, there is hope. Perhaps they will be able to get their house back when the bank finally decides to put it on the market.

We learned soon after this that other people we know were suffering through post partum depression. I don't know much about this sickness, but I can tell you from dealing with these good people that it is a very real, very scary thing.

Yesterday I was able to reconnect with a fraternity brother. I have been trying unsuccessfully for years to track him down. Our various moves across country didn't help matters. I finally got smart enough to dig around on the university's alumni page and found a work e-mail for him. I was very happy.

I just received a response that tells me of his diagnosis of Lymphoma in his brain. He has been fighting it for some time now. Unfortunately, I don't know about his prognosis. I do know I'll keep him and his family in my thoughts and prayers and I won't be losing touch so easily this time.

Pressure Mounts

2008-02-22T14:10:00.002-05:00

So it would seem that my blog title is no longer fitting. People have discovered my writings. Not just anyone either. My family.

Honestly, I'm not really sure how I feel about this. It's fun to post things and think you're an undiscovered great writer. Now people that actually know me are reading my posts. They'll know my insecurities. They'll know I'm lazy! They'll know I'm not even a writer! Ah well. Cat's out of the bag I guess.

Welcome to my head family!

Avoidance is not a Cure

2007-11-21T12:38:00.000-05:00

I've been avoiding you haven't I? I'd like to say it hasn't been on purpose. That I've been too busy, but that wouldn't be truthful. I have been busy. Just not busy enough to not write.

There's a topic I've been afraid to deal with. Unable to talk about something else, I have avoided you on purpose. It's time to get it off my chest I think.

My mother's cancer has returned. You would think those are easy words to type. I assure you they are not. We've known for a while and suspected for longer.

Mom and Dad have decided that they are going someplace dry and warmer for the winter. It's a good decision for them as it will help mom breathe better. It's also good that they can do something like this at this stage. They've talked about it for years. I'm happy that they can do it.

Will they both return from this trip? Nobody knows. I still have hope, but I'm also scared. Sometimes, the fright wins out.

Tonight we're preparing to head north for Thanksgiving. Mom and Dad will be leaving this weekend and not return until April. I don't know what will happen in the future, but I do know I have something to be thankful for this year. We'll have this holiday together.

The Wheel Stops

2007-09-17T11:10:00.000-05:00

"The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose.... The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of time. But it was a beginning."

So begins the "Wheel of Time" series by Robert Jordan. Unfortunately, this age's time has ended with the death of the author, one book shy of finishing the series.

This news hit me like a punch in the gut. By all accounts he was a kind and generous man. I may have never known him, but I felt connected to him through his work. I have been enjoying the series for 10 years now and currently reading book 10 of the 11 that have been published.

The first few books were amazing. Book two, The Great Hunt, remains one of my favorite fantasy books of all time. However, there were many that considered the series to have gotten too bloated and stopped reading it. While I agree there were a couple books in which it seemed that he didn't really know how to get to where he was trying to go, I think he really got back on track with the last couple.

I feel sad knowing the world he created has ended prematurely. However, I'm glad I got a chance to read what is available. Books have the power to get inside you and stay there and his did just that.

Waiting until the Bombs Drop?

2007-05-10T15:46:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about my place in the world and how people consider me lately and more importantly, what I'm doing to impact that.

I went to a retirement party for a friend's father several years ago. He was the Chief of Police for a local suburb for many years. He had worked in the community for something like 30 years.

What struck me were the people that came out for the celebration. There were so many people that had been touched by this man somehow. I couldn't stop thinking, "I hope I'm remembered as fondly as this guy when it's time for me to look back on my life."

Perhaps it was the song "Rooftops" by Lostprophets that has me thinking on this so much lately. If you haven't heard the song let me reprint some of the lyrics for you.

When our time is up
When our lives are done
Will we say we've had our fun?

Will we make a mark this time?
Will we always say we tried?

Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out
.This is all we got now
Everybody scream your heart out.

All the love I've met
I have no regrets
If it all ends now, I'm set

Chorus

Standing on the rooftops
(Wait until the bombs drop)
This is all we got now
(Scream until your heart stops)
Never gonna regret
(Watching every sunset)
We'll listen to your heartbeat
(All the love that we found)

I keep going over this song and it's meaning in my head. What have I come up with? I'm still not sure.

I think for starters I'm unhappy with my career. I started right out of college with a theatre company and worked there for 10 years. I loved almost everything about the job. I made some really good friends all over the country there. Unfortunately I had to leave due to a conflict of interest when the company got bought out by a larger company.

Nothing too serious. My wife worked for the same company as I did. I was a field manager and she was an internal auditor. With the old company set up all the auditors shared responsibilities so she was just never allowed to audit whatever theatre I was working in. When we go bought out, the new company had area auditors so she would have to audit whichever theatre I'd be working in. One of us had to go so we decided I would go, but we would move back to my home state.

The only thing I don't miss about that job was working late nights, holidays and weekends. I had a lot of upward mobility at that company and I was moving fast. Of course I moved across country a couple of times to do so.

I don't get the same satisfaction with my current company. We've been losing market share around here and I don't want to move to a better market. Maybe if I had more faith in the company I would, but I just don't. They don't value their people enough. You are expected to move when they say if you want to advance. They don't reward you unless you are a high level manager. We're in the process of being sold so maybe that will change, but I don't think I want to wait around for that.

I've been in a rut for too long. I've been doing just what I have to both in work and out of it. I need to break the cycle. They say life is what you make it. It's time for me to make it into something I can be happy with. I need to stand on a rooftop and scream.

Google, Google Everywhere

2007-04-11T15:17:00.000-05:00

Well I go away for a little bit and Google takes over. I wish I had bought stock in them when they first came out. Oh well.

I've been wanting to blog for a while, but just haven't gotten around to it. I keep coming up with different ideas on what I want to do with this. Do I want some type of theme or do I keep it all willy nilly? I don't know.

Maybe I'll do willy nilly and have some recurring theme. Although it will be an infrequent willy nilly I'm sure. I am a lazy procrastinator after all. Keep checking back all you two people that once visited 6 months ago :P

Remembering, Five Years Later

2006-09-11T09:35:00.000-05:00

It's been five years since the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon. I find it hard to do much work today. Although I didn't know anyone personally that died, I feel directly affected by the attacks. I don't mean the way things have changed as a result; politics, liberties and sense of security, but on a much more personal level.

There was fear and anger when it happened. Now it's mostly a sense of deep sadness. Sadness for the lives that were lost, sadness for the innocence lost and sadness that there are people in this world that can hate so much.

I was asleep in Boston when the first plane hit the tower. My wife was working in Dallas and called on the phone to let me know. At that point they were still trying to determine whether this was an accident or not. I turned the TV on just as the second plane was hitting the other tower. I knew right away that this was no accident. One plane would be hard to believe as an accident, but two made it a certainty that we had been the victim of terrorism.

I was off work that day so sat home alone watching the whole event play out through the various newscasts. It's hard to describe what I was feeling. Fear for my wife for one. She had to get a rental car and drive back to Boston since all air traffic was halted. We didn't want to trust a train. It took her 3 days to get home. The rental car company actually charged less during the days that followed. A rare case of caring for the people more than their bottom line. Something small in the grand scheme of things, but something we'll never forget anyway.

Numbness and disbelief were the other emotions. How could it happen? Who could do such a thing? Why would anyone do this?

We're still trying to answer these questions five years later. We may know some of the names and what they thought they were doing, but we don't understand the answers they've given. Do we really want to understand the answers? I don't and hope I never do.

There is another emotion for me today. Admiration. For the people in FDNY and NYPD who rushed to the scene to help those they could. Many of them giving their lives as a result. For the civilians who helped their neighbors, whether they knew them or not. For the armed forces who have been fighting since shortly after this terrible day. I may not believe in the way the war has changed, but I admire every man and women that can put on a uniform and fight honorably for their country. They deserve our admiration and respect.

A Very Good Day

2006-08-15T08:59:00.000-05:00

You may remember the not so nice birthday present I got this year: we got word that my mom had lung cancer.

Well, she's been going through chemotherapy (that doesn't look right, but it passes the spell check so I'll go with it) for the past few months. It's had her quite weak. She lost a bit of hair. Her least favorite part was the sores that developed in her mouth. It left her unable to eat much during treatment weeks. She would do three weeks of treatment followed by one week of rest. The soars would fade during the week of rest so she had 3 days that they didn't bother her at all out of the month.

Anyway, she got the results of her scan yesterday and the doctors were happy to report that the cancer is in remission. Finally some good news. This doesn't mean that it is gone, just that it isn't active. Unfortunately, she will never be rid of it due to her other lung problems, but this is the best news we could hope for.

We don't know how long it will last. It could be months, it could be years. We'll take whatever we get and cherish it. My daughter will get to know her grandmother a little bit more. Most of all, we have some hope now. And that's a powerful thing.

Check Yourself. Experience Necessary.

2006-07-12T09:21:00.000-05:00

Today I find myself thinking of the wide world of shopping. More specifically, the checkout line.

I have become a HUGE fan of the self checkout line. There is nothing more annoying to me than sitting in a checkout line with 5 things to purchase and having to wait behind somebody who looks like they're stocking up for the winter.

I'd like to shake the hand of the person that came up with this concept. There are too many stores that cut back on cashiers to save money and in turn make us waste our time in their lines. The most heinous of these in my opinion is Costco. Now don't get me wrong I mostly love Costco, but it drives me crazy when I need one or two items and they only have 4 of their 20 lanes open.

There is a wholesale club in New England by the name of B.J.'s. Very comparable to Costco, but I'll give the edge to B.J.'s. This was the first place I had ever seen the self checkout line. I marveled and the ingenuity as I finally got to whiz past the people buying 18 cases of water, 32 cases of pop (I will NEVER call it soda, sorry honey) and 10 boxes of granola bars. My prayers were answered.

Now they're popping up everywhere: Kroger, Meijer, Ikea, Home Depot, Lowes. Still no Costco though. Why? If you're going to have all those lanes closed at least make some use out of the space.

In all my shopping I have seen only one bad thing about the self checkout line, the inexperienced user. You know them. They're the ones who don't own computers because they don't know how to turn them on. Why then are they using a self checkout?

Preservation vs. Demolition

2006-06-16T13:34:00.000-05:00

There's a lot of talk around here lately about preservation issues. With all of the new development happening in the city, there are battle lines being drawn on what's acceptable to demolish and what should be renovated. The hottest property in the battle is old Tiger Stadium.

Tiger Stadium has sat empty for five years now since the Tigers built Comerica Park. There have been many plans on what to do with the property. Some of the plans include: turning it into a museum, converting it into a mall, converting it into condos, building a Hispanic university, making it a minor league ballpark, playing high school football and baseball championships there. None of these plans have come to anything. Many of them are laughable.

Abandoned buildings have been a problem for Detroit for a long time now. Now that things are starting to happen downtown, the preservationists are trying to save as many of the old buildings as they can. I admire some of what they are doing, but there comes a point in time that you have to realize that something is just not feasible.

There were some saddening photos from inside the Stadium in the News today. There are large weeds growing in the seats. There are broken drains in the depths of the stadium that have cause it to flood from the rain. There is cracking and falling concrete.

The current plan for the property is to demolish the stadium and replace it with retail and condos. The main gate would be kept in tact and the infield turned into a park that local little leagues could play on. Will it happen? Who knows. It's a good plan though. Building for the future while remembering the past.

I have an old picture on my office wall that I love. It's of the stadium back when it was called Briggs. 1948. Detroit was in it's heyday and all was well with the world. Briggs Stadium was something to be proud of back then. Now it's just an empty shell and a reminder of what's wrong with this city. It's time to let the old ballpark go.

Baseball may not mean what it used to in this country, but there are still those who hold it in high regard. It's not the stadium that needs their attention. It's the game. It will not only be remembered on the site but played in it's purest form. Kids playing for the love of the game and playing on the same site as all of those great players of the past. That thought brings a smile to my face.

The Dichotomy of Life

2006-06-02T08:37:00.000-05:00

It's summer now. I'm watching my daughter play outside and remembering what it was like to be young again. Being a parent can be a double edged sword. On one hand, you get to experience the joys of childhood through the eyes of your child. On the other, you're reminded of what you're missing out on now that you've "grown up".

Do you remember how long the days seemed when you were young? An hour seemed like an eternity to me back then. Unless, of course, I was out playing. I wasn't afraid of what people might think of me. All I knew was, I was having fun. The sillier I looked, the more fun it was.

The older I get, the quicker time seems to slip away. It was just yesterday when my daughter was born. Tomorrow she'll be dating. 16 years in the span of two days, or so it would seem.

These days, I usually stop to ask, "What will the neighbors think?" I find myself afraid to look silly in front of others. When did this happen? Am I old because I ask this question or do I ask this question because I'm old?

I've decided that I'm too young to be old. 35 may have seemed ancient when I was a kid, but I still have a lot of life left in me. It's time to start enjoying the small things again. Who cares what the neighbors think.

Life in the D

2006-05-24T10:08:00.000-05:00

As I've stated before, I live in Detroit and I have to say I'm proud of this city. Ok I don't live in Detroit, but a western suburb. I was born in the city though and lived here for the first ten years of my life. I also work downtown and pay taxes to the city so I think I can call my self a Detroiter.

Detroit has gotten a bad rap for years. Yes some of it is well deserved, but most is bandwagoning by people that have never been here. Things like Devil's Night (the night before Halloween when people used to torch abandoned buildings by the hundreds) and sports championships that result in riots get mentioned time and time and time again. Too bad people don't realize that Devil's Night has been almost completely extinguished. We haven't had any problems with championship celebrations in 15 years. Can Boston or Denver say the same?

The city has changed so much in just the three years that I've started working here again. Events like the All-Star Game and the Superbowl helped. They didn't bring in the money that the leagues promised. What they did do is force both the city and the suburbs to work together to put their best face on for the national, and even more importantly, local media.

For too long, Detroit's neighbors have ignored it's problems. It's been an atmosphere of city vs. suburbs since before I was born. Suburbanites are starting to come around though. They're starting to take some pride from the name Detroit. They're starting to want Detroit to be successful.

Yes, Detroit still has it's problems. All big cities do, but it's amazing to drive around the downtown area and see a new development beginning every week. From the bars to the restaurants to the lofts to the office buildings. It won't happen over night, but the tides are changing and it's a hell of a feeling to be part of it.

I am a Detroiter.

This Man is a Guilty Island

2006-05-10T09:48:00.000-05:00

We packed the family up to go see mom this weekend. It was a good visit. We tried not to get into the cancer too much as it's still a little to fresh in everybody's mind. I'm not the only one who needs to be an optimist here.

While there I got to see an old very good friend. This guy was one of my best friends through high school and into college. I chose to move away when I graduated and he stayed there.

I suppose a little back story is in order here. I grew up in the city (big bad Detroit, or DEEtroit as they said up north) until I was 10. My parents decided they had enough and moved up north and into the woods. I adapted a bit, but I am a city boy. I couldn't wait to get out of there. My friends being from the rural area that they were their whole life don't appreciate the wonder of suburban life. Overpriced houses, yards smaller than their driveways and the traffic. Oh, the traffic! What's not to love?

Ok so it isn't for everybody, but it's where I belong.

So I moved back to the metro area as soon as I could. For a while I kept in close contact with all my friends. Then it started to get longer and longer between visits and talks. Part of this was due to my moving around the country with stays in Chicago and Boston, but most of it I think was my fault.

I guess it wouldn't be so bad if it was just one or two, but it is most of the people I come in contact with and consider friends. I like these people. Why is it so hard for me to call them once in a while?

The reasons for this are twofold:

1) As I stated before, I'm a procrastinator. "I'll call them after Lost. Well it's too late to call now." Of course the guilt kicks in after a while and I don't want to explain that I was too lazy to call or worse that I chose Lost over calling them.

2) I'm an inherently selfish person. It's probably my worst character flaw. I know I am, but I don't want to be. The problem is I don't realize it when I'm doing it. Sure afterward I'll recognize it, but while it's happening I'm too busy thinking of what I want to be doing or what I can get out of something instead of thinking how it's affecting those people that I care about.

They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Well I've admitted it and I'm working on it. It's an uphill battle after all these years but I'll hopefully get there.

Happy Birthday! Here's a Kick in the Nuts.

2006-05-03T09:29:00.000-05:00

My birthday was on Friday. It was also the day we found out that my mother has lung cancer.

Now I was ready for this. I fully expected it. After all, she had smoked for the better part of 40 years. Several years ago they diagnosed her with emphysema and she continued to smoke. A couple years ago they put her on oxygen and she continued to smoke. Last year she had to stop working because of it and continued to smoke.

I used to try to convince her to stop. At various times she would tell me she had and I'd find out she was just telling me what I wanted to hear. I finally came to the realization that she won't ever quit and it will kill her so I stopped trying. I'm tired of her lying to me about it. It doesn't help either of us.

So after the most recent trip to the emergency room because she couldn't breathe, they found a dark mass in her lungs from the x-ray. They put her through several tests culminating with a needle biopsy.

I knew the word was coming and was preparing myself for it. I had taken half a day off work because of my birthday and found out by accident through a cousin. Mom was waiting till I got off work to call with the news. I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was.

I was trying not to cry when I talked to her. That didn't work. I tried not to let her know I was crying, but I'm sure that didn't work either. It's hard enough for me to cope with this news, I can only imagine what it would be like for the person actually going through it.

I want to stay positive. I want to think that this is something she can beat, but with her history and current condition it's difficult. But I will do it for her sake and my own. I am normally an optimist. I need to be an optimist. The alternative is too grim to think about.

I hope that she will respond well to the treatment. I hope that she will get to see her grandchildren grow up. I hope that my daughter will have actual memories of time spent with her grandmother instead of vague recollections from when she was 2. I hope.

The Eyes of a Child

2006-04-17T13:43:00.000-05:00

I'm continually amazed by my two year old daughter. I still can't understand half of what she says, but the half I do is often over the top funny.

Case #1: Proof that women are manipulative from early ages if not birth: Recently she was running through the kitchen, tripped and fell down. She hurt herself, but not too seriously. Just a small bruise. When she hurts herself she usually wants mommy and daddy to kiss her booboo and make it feel better. This time she had other things on her mind.

She was crying pretty hard. I asked her if she wanted me to kiss her booboo and make it feel better. "No kiss my booboo" she said. I asked, "Don't you want it to feel better?" Looking up at the counter where it is kept she tells me, "Candy make it better!"

Now after the laughing fit wore off I'm left pondering. Was the fall a ploy or did she just take the opportunity to pull daddy's strings. Either way, I think daddy needs to watch himself around her.

The Inevitablility of Advertising

2006-03-31T10:56:00.000-05:00

In this new digital world I think advertising needs to be added to the list of certainties: death, taxes and advertising. It really is everywhere these days, but what is really on my mind are the adds in movie theatres. This seems to be a huge debate these days with most people absolutely hating them. I'm probably one of the few that don't mind them. Some of them are mildly amusing.

Of course the argument most come up with is "I don't want to pay to see commercials" Well, you aren't paying for the commercial. You're still only paying for the movie. Without the commercials you'd still be paying the same thing. Hell, if you have cable or the dish you're paying for commercials too. Do you buy magazines or newspapers? Well I hate to break it to you, but there is advertising in there too. Why should the movie theatre be any different?

Then you have the, "I can't talk to my date with the commercials going on" You didn't want to talk to your date anyway. That's why you took him or her to the movies. If you truly wanted to talk to your date, you would have picked another spot to go.

The bottom line is this is a multi-million dollar revenue for the theatre chain. They won't give it up no matter how much you complain. If you hate it so much then wait in the lobby until they're over.

Or Is It?

2006-03-30T09:34:00.000-05:00

I'm so vain that I keep checking to see if I've gotten any comments on my first post. Which is pretty dumb since nobody even knows about this blog. My only shot at getting it read is by having somebody stumble across it with the random next blog button.

Do I want people to read it? I'm not sure. I have delusions of grandeur that my blog becomes a must read for thousands of people and I can retire on the money I make from the advertising. Only problem with that is I don't write well and don't have very much to say.

I suppose I could go all political and start huge debates, but I'm too middle of the road to get anyone fired up. Strike 1.

I used to work in movie theatres and at one point thought that I'd start my own review site. The problem with that is I no longer work there and since my daughter was born two years ago, I've only seen about 7 movies in the theatres. So there's strike 2.

So I guess I'll just go with whatever I feel like writing at the moment. If people find it great. If they like it, and I really don't know why they would, even better. Do me a favor though, leave a comment just so I know you've been here. It'll stroke my ego, or potentially destroy it depending on what you say, and I can pretend I have loyal readers :)

First One is the Hardest

2006-03-29T16:26:00.000-05:00

First off, if you've stumbled onto this page somehow you should turn back now. Really. I have no vision for this blog. Unless of course you count the fantasy that I have in which my daughter finds the things I've written after my death and gets to know me better than she did in life. It has all the touches of a Hallmark movie of the week in my mind's eye, but enough about that.

If you're looking for a really good blog you should check out Josh Friedman's http://hucksblog.blogspot.com/ . His blog has some of the funniest things I've ever read. It helps if you're a movie buff or a writer I suppose, but definitely not a requirement. His most recent post is responsible for me writing this so please feel free to blame him for your wasted time in reading this as well.

So anyway, thanks for stopping by. If you're a fan of the mundane everyday thoughts of a regular guy then come on back. I'm sure I'll update this regularlyish. Although I probably should tell you I'm lazy and love to procrastinate so we'll see how it goes.